Why Being Broke Could Help
You Find True Love

With all the fancy restaurants, shopping, and glitzy bars New York has to offer, I have sometimes wondered what would happen to this town if everyone just stopped trying to impress each other.  Unfortunately, with this economy, we may have to stop trying- whether we like it or not.  And it may sound crazy, but I think this could be a good thing.   

It dawned on me when I recently walked into a waxing/manicure boutique, and it was completely empty.  No one was getting their nails done, and I’m sure you’ll all appreciate my eloquence when I say no one was getting their hoo-hah “done” either.  As I looked at the waxing price list, my eyes widened: “Has waxing always been this expensive, or am I just looking at this with new (a.k.a. broke) eyes? 

 

I asked the boutique owner if it was usually this empty, and she said it had been like this for a while.  And I realized:  if New York women are re-thinking their waxing habits to save money, New York men are probably about to see way more body hair than they ever have.  Can they handle it?

 

Well, they may have to, and maybe this is okay.  I mean, if women are giving up their waxing appointments, men must be giving up something too.  Like the other day I saw an old friend, and I swear he was wearing a faded T-shirt he wore during our sophomore year at NYU (7 years ago)- but it still looked alright.  

 

Maybe the charade is over.  Maybe this means everyone is going to be forced to find someone who actually likes them for their real selves, instead of the perfectly waxed, perfectly dressed version of themselves.  No, no, don’t cry people.  This might not be as bad as it sounds.  For example,

 

Gentlemen, if you’re broke, and you can’t afford to take your new girl to that over-priced Lower East Side lounge, just grab a couple of cheap bottles from Trader Joes and invite her to your place.  Since you won’t be distracted by the loud bar music, maybe you’ll actually get to know each other because you’ll hear more than just, “And… tudied… antic … oetry.”  For those of you reading this who aren’t comfortable with the whole “getting to know someone thing” (a.k.a. INTIMACY) here’s a bone:  You may also have a way better chance of seeing her naked, since your bed will be much more appealing to her than that subway ride home- I don’t know anyone who can afford those drunken late night  cabs any more.

 

And Ladies, if you can’t afford that Gossip-Girl-inspired outfit you’ve been eyeing, RELAX. First of all, it's winter.  And when it’s freezing, no one pays that much attention to what you’re wearing- besides your coat, EVERYONE notices your coat. So rewind to your Dawson’s Creek days and pull out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The girl-next-door-look always works, and let’s face it, it’s much more comfortable to wear. Plus, he’ll think you’re so down to earth since you’re wearing the newly fashionable I-have-no-one-to-impress-look. BONUS: I’m pretty sure since everyone’s totally broke that no one’s going out to dinner anymore. I’ll bet you 2 tickets to “Bride Wars” if you wear an outfit that channels Joey Potter, while you’re cooking him some pasta, he won’t give a damn what label you’re wearing.  Seriously, he’s probably just as broke as you are, and a warm, home-cooked meal just may be sexier to him now than any Marc Jacobs dress.

 

So maybe this isn’t going to be so bad. What’s the worst that could happen? Someone begins to love you for your broke-ass self.  That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

 

Comments


Login or Sign Up to join the discussion.